A Proud “Visions Mom”

Next week on February 5, Josh S. will have 116 days sober. I (the proud Mom) thought you might enjoy some digital photos of some of the paintings Josh has done since he’s been home. Living a sober life has elevated Josh’s artistic creativity to a whole new level. What I see as a “Visions Parent” is that after his being a part of the treatment program, Josh now has the ability to reach down inside his heart to use “what he feels inside” for inspiration to paint his “vision.”

He had his very first art exhibit on January 26th along with 40 other kids who are part of the Youth Arts Collective program which he attends 4 days a week from 3pm-7pm. There are some pretty amazing young artists at YAC, and Josh has been learning a lot from them.

I hope you are all doing well and I know that you are working hard with all the kids and their families.

Anyway, Josh says, “hi,” and please tell Lani that we miss her cooking.

Warmest Regards,
A Proud “Visions Mom”

The only thing you have to give is everything you have

It only cost me a cigarette.



…And the man said, “The only thing you have to give is everything you have.”

When I was nineteen I worked construction for a company that built and installed high-density mobile storage for corporate filing systems and small libraries. It was exhausting work, but I liked the feeling of accomplishment that came with finishing a large job. My partner’s name was Mark. He was a middle-aged man who was going through a divorce for the entire year that we were partners. He was a very unhappy man and drank more than out employer would have liked, and was often surly to the point of making our job harder than it should have been.

On a morning in late winter Mark had court appointment in downtown Oklahoma City, and left me with three hours to kill. I walked around and through the Bombing Memorial for the first time since it was constructed. I found a place to sit and took off my headphones. The weight of where I found myself was heavier than I was prepared for, and before I got comfortable I realized that I was weeping. I can’t say for sure how long I had been sitting there when a man, presumably homeless, sat next to me and asked me for a cigarette. Begrudgingly, I obliged him expecting him to leave me alone. He lit his smoke with a match and said, “The only thing you have to give is everything you have.” With that, he left me, and I never saw him again.

Have often thought what he meant by that comment, and at different times in my life, it has had different meanings. When I got sober it meant that the only thing I had to do to stay sober is everything I could do. As I grow in my recovery, the meaning of the homeless man’s statement grows with me.

The Facade of Good Grades

I started using drugs at the age of fifteen. All my teen life I was an Honor Roll Student. I never received a grade below a “B”. When I started using drugs, that didn’t change. I still managed to bring home all As and Bs. Which, looking back was both good and bad. Good because I didn’t mess up my chances of getting into college, but bad because it was that much easier to fool my parents. From my experience, parents seem to think everything is ok if their teen is still bringing home good grades. But, that’s not always true. Sometimes, I’d stay up all night on drugs and go to school to take an exam and set the curve. But, I wish my parent’s had seen through that facade, because maybe they would have intervened on my drug use earlier and I would have gotten sober at an earlier age. I knew that my parents were for that facade, and I used that as my main tool for manipulation. So, my message here is for parents to be aware that although your kid may be a straight-A student, they may be hiding a lot behind that Honor Roll report card.

Factors That Play a Role in Relapse

In my five years of sobriety, I have noticed many factors that play a role in relapse. Two of things contributing to relapse are a cease in service work and a shift in personal priorities. Service work and working with others is one the most important contributors to staying sober. In the movie My Name is Bill W, Which is a movie about Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Silkworth the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. Bill Wilson's wife has a conversation with Dr. Silkworth. Lois Wilson was complaining about BIll spending all his time, working with other Alcoholics that were not managing to stay sober. Dr Silkworth asked her if "he was staying sober?" Lois said "yes", it was then, she realized that working with others was helping bill stay sober.
For alcoholics, Staying sober for 24 hours is a miracle, so to accomplish this, sobriety must be the top priority in their life. I have personally seen dozens of alcoholics who forget their primary purpose. They once again make work, school,relationships, etc. their top priority and end up drinking again. So alcoholics must never forget their primary purpose in life, to stay sober.

Showing Up

Hello, just wanted to get going on my mini blog about work, recovery and talk about how i am truly blessed to be alive and sober today. I have a little more than a year and a half of sobriety, my sobriety date is June, 4 2006. 6/4/6....I thought that was kind of cool but I didn't plan it to come out that way. Basically my life is about showing up these days even if I don't want to, especially to the things that I don't want to show up to. Like meetings sometime, meeting people for coffee or any other thing that would be just "too hard" for me to do. Working in recovery I really get the chance to see myself in so many of the people here and it really is comforting to know that we are not alone in this world. There are a lot of people around that have been through what your going through and have experience in a lot of different areas of life or could help you to find someone who has. I myself have gotten sober through Alcoholics Anonymous and it's really an amazing thing. Nobody would of thought that I would get to be 21 years old and instead of sitting on a couch drinking and smoking my life away, I'm working, paying debt that I created and trying to skateboard as much as possible for it is the thing that truly makes me centered and happy. I hope everybody can find that one positive thing in there life that can do that for them as well because I believe is very important for you to have. Ive never really blogged anything before and I'm not really sure what the format is or if there even is one but all I know is I can just put tidbits of info on here as I trudge along this path and hopefully someone can relate.

Pat