Alcoholics Anonymous, My Journey From Darkness Into Light

How does one describe the journey from darkness into light? Many members of Alcoholics Anonymous or other 12 step fellowships will explain this process as a spiritual awakening. My spiritual awakening was of the slow, educational variety. There was no elderly man with a billowy white beard and long white robes who parted the seas, and certainly no burning bush to guide my path. There was however, a long and tedious road of self-exploration, a trip of discovery, discarding, and polishing. Within the confines of Alcoholics Anonymous, I continue to amaze myself on a daily basis.

Five years ago, I simply existed. I no longer participated in life, except to get loaded on drugs and alcohol. I lived to use and used to live. All other areas of life fell by the wayside and my primary purpose was to maintain my high. My family had since given up on me, I was essentially homeless, my health was questionable, and most importantly, I was spiritually broken. Part of me was dying for human contact and help, and part of me was just plain dying. I suppose I had somewhat of a moment of clarity when I realized that the mass amounts of drugs I put in my body weren’t working any longer. The more I put in, the worse I felt. It finally appeared as though nothing on God’s green Earth could save me from me, except perhaps another way. Thus began my journey………

I crawled into Alcoholics Anonymous wanting to once again live. I had no recollection of formative life skills and had to build from the ground up. I took suggestions, got a sponsor, went to meetings, fellowshipped with others, and dove head first into the process. Most importantly, I had to find a God of my understanding. Growing up in a Roman Catholic household, this was no easy task. The punitive God that I had grown up with, had given up on me a long time ago. Letting go of this notion was difficult to say the least. Slowly but surely, I grew into my own skin, came to define and redefine God, and learned how to stand on my own two feet. I also learned what service work was all about. Helping another alcoholic receive the blessings I have received is part of the miraculous cyclical process of the program. Alcoholics Anonymous has provided me with both a new outlook on life and an impenetrable optimism where truly anything is possible. I will forever be grateful.

Authentic Relationships in Alcoholics Anonymous

Authentic Relationships

I have found that the relationships I have formed in my recovery today are based on nothing more than respect and a genuine trust of one and other. When I was getting loaded, this was certainly not the case. I was always suspicious of my friendships with others. What was their motive? Why were they gravitating towards me as an individual? I didn’t have much to offer, aside from drugs and alcohol. These days, I have much to offer. I have a shoulder to lean on, an empathetic ear with which to listen, and a heart that wants nothing more than to help. Today, my relationships with both men and women are symbiotic associations and are direct results of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Before I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, both women and men alike were absolutely never to be trusted. Coming from a dysfunctional household, complete with an abusive father and a co-dependent mother, both respective sexes left a sour taste in my mouth. Men were abrasive and scary, and women were pushy and clingy. This had a huge impact of how I was to view both men and women for a long time. Friendships I developed with each sex were fleeting at best, and romantic unions with men were also dysfunctional and short-lived. In retrospect, I either self-sabotaged most of these connections or picked friends and suitors that were emotionally unavailable. That was the only way I knew how. I was accustomed to picking lesser companions, until I was in fact the lesser companion. Forming authentic, genuine relationships in either a friendship or a romantic interlude was indeed foreign to me. A combination of therapeutic settings and Alcoholics Anonymous really helped me learn how to once again trust both myself and others. I had to have faith in those who would help me rebuild my life.

Today, I rely upon help from both men and women. I continuously reach out for help on a daily basis to my peers. I have come to the realization that I can’t exist in Alcoholics Anonymous alone. Nobody can for that matter. It is so important to build friendships with other people who will be there for you through thick and thin. I have such a strong support network in my life today. I have toiled and worked diligently to build that network and couldn’t be happier. I thank God every day for the people in my life. They are present friends in my life today, and all they want in return is my friendship, loyalty, and trust. It feels good to not only be a respectable person, but a loving friend who people confide in and support through any endeavor. This was made possible through my recovery!

What is Drug Withdrawal?

“What Is Withdrawal? How Long Does It Last?”

Withdrawal is the variety of symptoms that occur after use of some drugs are reduced or stopped. Length of withdrawal and symptoms vary with the type of drug. For example, physical symptoms of heroin withdrawal may include restlessness, muscle and bone pain, insomnia, diarrhea, vomiting and cold flashes. These physical symptoms may last for several days, but the general depression, or dysphoria (opposite of euphoria) that often accompanies heroin withdrawal can be easily treated with medications to ease the symptoms, but treating withdrawal is not the same as treating addiction.
Drug withdrawal has many variables. Everything from the type of drug, quantity of regular use, to the length of time the drug was abused. These all factor into how intense or mild an individual’s drug withdrawal experience will be. An example would be withdrawal from methadone. An individual who uses methadone over a period of several months to years who decides to discontinue use will experience a longer and more painful withdrawal than an individual who discontinues using heroin.
Another factor to be aware of during drug withdrawal is drug craving. Drug craving is the result of the drugs imprinting in the memory, a pleasant association of euphoria with the drug. The subconscious memory then motivates the individual to seek this drug because of the false imprint. The brain, in effect, has been trained that using the drug is the fastest way to feel good. Due to the extreme physiological or physical pain some experience during drug withdrawal they can relapse before they complete the withdrawal process.
These are important reasons why drug withdrawal should take place at an inpatient drug rehabilitation center. There, the individual will be removed from the immediate access to drugs or alcohol. Drug withdrawal done at an inpatient drug rehab also provides the safety of medical supervision by trained professionals who are better able to monitor the drug withdrawal process.

Work Cited: http://addictionwithdrawal.com/

Teresa Roy

Sobriety and Art

Sobriety and Art

When I first got sober, I was afraid that I would loose my ability to create music and art. Even though I was interested in giving sobriety a real try, I though about using again just because I thought my creativity would suffer. When I have thoughts like this one, I learned it is better to share them with someone else to get some insight. My sponsor told me to give it some time and to have faith in the process.
What I learned over time is when you aren’t using drugs and alcohol, there is no filter or block on your creativity. Kind of like “art is all you have.” Also, there are no distractions from your art of choice. You get more creative with you’re time and your work gets more intense because you have no blinders on. Also, when you are creating music, it’s a little easier to keep a band together when people aren’t drunkenly fighting or showing up late to practice. In the beginning of sobriety, the absence of drugs and alcohol makes you feel naked. Especially when making all kinds of art, but you can take that vulnerable feeling, all of your fear, anger and passion and channel it to your art rather than just snuffing out these emotions with substances to just end up being ides that never get off the ground.
By Cheryl Lindsey


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