We recently talked about sponsorship within the confines of the 12 steps: particularly what a sponsor is and what a sponsor is not and the necessity of having that position filled in your life. This is particularly true in the beginning years of your recovery, where everything seems so muddy and untenable. Having someone in your corner  (a guide, if you will) who has their “ducks in a row” is a necessity. This imperative is part of what informs our recovery path: it’s spoken about at every meeting, in treatment, and often times in therapy. The relationship of sponsor/sponsee is …

So you made resolutions to stay sober in the New Year, now what? Like most of us, you made a bunch of lofty resolutions, some of which may seem daunting and unattainable when looked at with the eyes of reality in the cold of January.  Maybe the hangover of the holidays made you realize you need to listen to that inner voice telling you this isn’t how life is supposed to be, and maybe, just maybe you need to get sober.  Perhaps you’re thinking, “How am I ever going to be able to live without drugs and alcohol? How can …

It’s the end of the year, and for recovering addicts, alcoholics, and those suffering from mental health issues, it can be a frightening time. We place on onslaught of expectations on others and ourselves as we seek perfection and immediate change via resolutions and hyped up promised to ourselves. In many ways, this can be a set up for failure, especially for the addict/alcoholic who has to do everythingallatonce. You know, who else wants to join a gym and work out every day for 3 hours with a trainer 7 days a week while also giving up meat and going …

A history of sexual violence can create an ideal environment for a variety of mental-health issues, addiction, and alcoholism. Often, the triggering event or events are hidden in the annals of one’s mind and perceived as shameful, deep, dark secrets too horrible to share…with anyone. As a result, drugs, alcohol, and risk-taking behaviors are often seen as the primary issue when one enters treatment. Time and again, we see that this isn’t always the case; That becomes clear when we look at it in terms of statistics: One out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an …

Image via Wikipedia Drug addiction and alcoholism could care less about your income, social status, ethnicity, or education. Both tend to be equal-opportunity destroyers. At the same time, alcoholism and addiction can certainly be the catalyst to finding yourself suffering from job loss, a fall in social status, becoming impoverished, and of course living the imminent crash-and-burn lifestyle that’s part and parcel to addiction. There are myriad stories of successful people finding themselves losing everything as a result of their addictions, having thrown their lives away in the name of getting drunk or high. For them, having wealth and success …

Recovery needs to be safe. It needs to be a place where we can shed our layers of fear and self-loathing and learn to be good enough as we are. It needs not to be the predatory place it’s become, where young girls learning to navigate a sober path to recovery end up falling prey to older men acting out their rescue fantasies (or worse). The notion of the 13th step (the unwritten yet prevalent practice of someone with longer sobriety praying on the vulnerability of the newcomer of the opposite sex) is alive and well, making for high levels …

The death of Amy Winehouse, mere months after another misfired attempt at rehab leaves me thinking more and more about the misleading notion of a revolving door in recovery. I am reminded of the perceived invincibility we tend to have when we’re using and how deadly that assumption can be. Unfortunately, we’ve been subjected to inadvertent voyeurism as we’ve fallen witness to Winehouse’s public demise. As part of a recovery community, we can certainly sit and proselytize about the myriad things she could have or should have done differently, but the fact remains: she was an addict, and her addiction …

Did you know the Fourth of July has one of the highest rates of drunk driving accidents and DUIs? Did you know that there are other options to getting behind the wheel when you’re under the influence? AAA is offering their usual “Tipsy Tow” service on the Fourth of July in an effort to get drunk drivers off the road. This is great news for those of you still out there, fighting sobriety one drink or drug at a time. Another holiday is upon us, wherein we’re almost expected to imbibe. Fourth of July is geared toward BBQs, drinking, and …

The 12-step model is certainly reliable and is the standard go-to place for most people seeking recovery. It’s certainly the model we refer to first in the recovery world. However, there are times when we come across an alcoholic or addict who is deeply atheist and subsequently hits a wall when they get to Step 2: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.” Can AA work for them too? Most people will say that it can. Some will leave things as-is, and some will need to make some minor language changes in order …

Image via Wikipedia When I think of the phrase “I’m an alcoholic,” I often think of Popeye and the fervency behind his frequently uttered catchphrase: “I yam what I yam.”  When admitting to being an alcoholic, you’re taking the first step towards admission of powerlessness. It implies an understanding that in claiming that label, one is willing to look at the mind-body connection to their drinking and using. According to the 12 and 12, “Admission of powerlessness is the first step in liberation.” It is the way those of us in 12-step recovery begin to build the foundation on which …